Alive and kicking!

Alive and kicking!

I’m now 18 weeks pregnant and just told my class at school. I showed them a picture of the scan and asked them where they think that baby is. I then told them it was in my tummy. They all smiled at me and asked me a million questions- luckily I didn’t get asked how it got there! They did request that they name him/her…, I said I would take suggestions. I explained that I would be leaving in February which some of them were sad about! But I said I would come back and do a show and tell with the new baby as soon as I could! The parents were great and many of them have congratulated me.

We also got a letter from the hospital to say the baby was at low risk of developing Downs Syndrome so that was a relief. We have our second scan next week! I can’t wait to have another look!

I was teaching one afternoon this week and the baby kicked twice. At first I wasn’t sure but then it definitely felt like a kick from the inside! It was amazing. I disrupted the class by making it a big deal and took ages to get them back to work! Nick was really pleased when I told him that night. He said I was lucky getting to feel it. I said ‘yes, until the end, then you won’t be jealous!’

We have been visiting some baby shops and feeling very overwhelmed with the variety of prams and car chairs we can get. I have also started going to the toilet again and having some very vivid dreams. I am starting to feel guilty about the 2 cups of tea I drink a day- is this too much? Also, I’m not exercising and feel like I should be!

Finally, the scan!

Finally, the scan!

After a looooong wait and a few slips of the tongue telling our friends, we can finally announce it to the world. Nick and I just went to have our 12 week scan. I did exactly what the letter said ‘drink 1 ½ pints of water an hour before the appointment.’ So I did. By the time we got to the hospital and paid a ridiculous parking fee and made sure we had 5 pound coins for the photo of our baby I was DESPERATE for the toilet. As we sat in the waiting room with lots of other women wriggling, Nick tried to help by talking nonsense but with the nerves and bursting bladder I wasn’t interested.

Finally my name was called and the nurse took us into a dark room with a T.V. monitor on the wall, lots of equipment and a dentist chair to lie in. I laid down and the nurse put some paper towel on my lower stomach. She said she was going to put the gel on and see how things were. I was told by a friend who had children that the feeling of needing to wee goes as soon as you see your baby- boy was she right! As soon as I saw a clear head and hands, my heart skipped a beat. Nick held my hand in silence. He just stared at the screen in awe. I asked the nurse if everything was ok, and she said that at this stage everything looks normal. My worst fear was no heartbeat but after asking twice I felt confident that my baby was alive and kicking. He/she really was kicking too, having a great time moving around in my womb! I suddenly felt very emotional and thought that this is what some women dream about and here I am, the luckiest woman alive watching my tiny baby move inside me.

The nurse took some measurements and said that it was 6cm which means I am 13 weeks and I thought I was 12. The nurse said the due date is 7^th March! It was great to get a date from a professional rather than looking at my calendar. The nurse then said she was measuring for excess fluid at the back of the baby’s neck to check for signs of Downs Syndrome.

After 5 minutes my sensation to pee came back and I rushed to the toilet as soon as I could. When I came out the nurse gave Nick and I a photo, I couldn’t believe it! I keep looking at it and feel so proud! I am already one of those ‘look at my child’ mums! Nick and I went to get a blood test and sitting next to me was a lady I saw in the last waiting room I tried to sneak a pic of her scan photo to compare but I couldn’t see! There is lots of ‘is my baby normal?’ thoughts going through my mind.

When I got my blood test I asked new nurse if everything was ok and she said that if it wasn’t the other nurse wouldn’t have told us to chat to you. In 4 days I will find out if I have a high risk of having a baby with Downs. If I get a letter it will be to say I am low risk.  I pray I don’t get a phone call in the next 4 days!

When I got home I couldn’t help but look at what a normal NT depth is and compare it to my baby’s! Mine is 1.8mm which is in the healthy zone, 2.8mm and above is a high risk. I feel a lot better now! I did realise though, after all the exciting stuff I forgot to ask questions about antenatal classes and if I should stop taking folic acid now…

An uploaded picture and 20 congratulation messages on facebook I can finally enjoy the attention and share the news with everyone!

Decisions already!

I had the midwife come round my house. She was great but blimey there was a lot of paperwork. I now have a file I must carry with me everywhere in case anything happens and someone can see that I am pregnant. Most of the questions were about family health and my health but then she told me about the 12 weeks scans. I got a little confused and ended up asking lots of questions, but was left with a big decision to make. At 12 weeks (I am 8 weeks now) I will need to go for a scan. I need to choose which scan to have.

I either have a regular scan which tells me a rough date when it’s due and if it is healthy or there at all! Or I can have a scan which tells me whether my baby has a high risk or low risk of having Downs Syndrome. This scan will also tell me about when it is due and growth so far. I immediately thought, well, if this scan tells you more then I would have the second option. But then came the ‘what ifs’. If the blood test and scan and health history all add up to say my baby is at high risk of having Downs then I have an even bigger decision to make.

I can then choose whether to have a second, more invasive, scan which can tell if the child does or does not have Downs. This scan however has a 1% risk of miscarriage. And then you are faced with what to do if it does have Downs.

So, I can choose not to have the high risk/low risk scan and never know until it is born or a much later scan or I can get this Downs scan, find out if it is low or high risk and then either live with the fact my baby might have downs but not find out or risk a miscarriage to have peace of mind! I didn’t expect such big decisions this early on! I thought my biggest worry was lifting heavy things and staying away from shellfish.

So when Nick came home we discussed it. I have spoken to friends who have children but most said they didn’t have the option. A friend of ours has just given birth to her second child who has been diagnosed with Downs Syndrome, her first was completely healthy. As it has happened to someone we know it is such a scary event. I did some research and Downs Syndrome is nothing a parent can prevent. Apparently it is pure fluke that the chromosomes do not split evenly within the womb at the very early stages of pregnancy.

We had a week to think about it and then my midwife called and asked if we had made a decision. I said “yes, we will have the scan that tells us about the risk of Downs Syndrome..."

My friend gave me good advice, see what happens and cross the bridge when/if you come to it. I have a month to wait now…

Aches and Pains

I’ve been doing some reading and read about when to sleep on your front and when not to. I love sleeping on my belly and it says to start training myself to sleep on my side. My boobs are really sore and I keep getting up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet. I secretly love all of these things though as they are sure signs of a normal pregnancy. I am worried about a new symptom though. I have tiny stomach pains that are occurring more and more often. I read up and most websites say its ok but I will ask my midwife when she finally gets in touch. I also bought some Omega 3 tablets which a friend suggested. I hope these small stomach pains are nothing to worry about!

Telling the family...

Today we told our parents. It was great. First we went to my mum’s house. I waited for my brothers to arrive but they brought a friend. Nick said that we couldn’t tell them while he was there. I was gutted because I was looking forward to it so much! Then I gathered them into the kitchen and they knew something was up. My brothers just looked at me and said ‘no!’ in a surprised way. I said ‘yes, I’m pregnant’. My brothers were shocked but pleased and mum said she knew something was up and she was waiting for us to say. We had a good chat about when it may be due and what changes had happened so far. It was a lovely reaction. I can’t tell my dad until next weekend as he lives a little further away. We then told Nick’s parents who were delighted too. It was great to finally tell some people who care about us. We have told them to keep it quiet for a month and then we can tell everyone.

Doctors and dreams

Last night I had a dream. I always say dreams represent your fears and hopes. I dreamt that I was in labour and Nick stayed by my side the whole time (this is a hope as he is extremely squeamish and fainted last time he went to a hospital). Then I had to have a caesarean and out came a little girl. She had brown eyes and brown hair. Neither of us have brown eyes… but the fact that she was girl is a secret hope. I always wanted boys but after a friend of ours told us she was having a girl, I keep thinking about girls.

Then came a big fear. All these secrets and letting people know in drips and drabs has obviously been playing on my mind because in my dream we see a neighbour. The neighbour tells my mum and my mum didn’t know yet. I would’ve told my mum in real life by the time I give birth of course but it’s interesting that I’m dreaming that my mum finds out and we weren’t the ones to tell her. Then we talk about naming her in my dream. We both agree she looks like a Violet but neither of us liked the name. Then Nick’s parents say they heard we called her Celeste. We said we hadn’t chosen a name yet and they said ‘oh good’ like they didn’t approve of the name- another fear! And last but not least we agreed that our two favourite names didn’t suit our new baby! Glad this was only a dream, but so many worries in one dream! At least the baby was healthy!

I went to the doctor today and it was like the websites said. No confirmation or actual advice. I made sure I needed the toilet for a urine sample but that was unnecessary! I asked lots of questions and she gave clear answers which websites weren’t doing. For example packet ham is fine, despite websites saying NO DELI MEATS EVER! She could tell I was happy and said that the midwife will be in touch. I could also fill in a form to allow me to get free dentistry and prescriptions! Great! I did find out that I can’t dye my hair though and it really needs a top up! I worked it out that I am 5 weeks along and I am due in March! Yey!

How do give your baby the best chance?

I need to keep secret from boss for now, someone told her I was trying and she asked me out right- bit cheeky, none of her business yet! I assured her we weren’t so it can’t get back to her. I couldn’t help but tell someone at work who knows we have been trying. It is such a relief to talk about it with someone and share a secret smile across the room. I’ve also had to tell the dentist who wanted to numb my tooth. She said to wait until I was over the first trimester which I assume is 3 months. She also said it would be on NHS. I thought she was doing me a favour but apparently dentistry is free when pregnant!

I’ve got a doctors appointment in 2 days and can’t wait to see what she says. I will be 5 weeks which is so early but she might book a midwife or scan and then I will have a date to look forward to!

Every now and then I worry about the baby not developing correctly. I know someone with a baby who was diagnosed with downs syndrome, and someone with an autistic toddler, I have a child in my class with cerebral palsy and I just watched a film where the baby didn’t have a heart beat. I am starting to eat more healthily and plan to do lots of exercise in the summer holidays. I am taking folic acid and have done since January. I wonder if there is more I can do?

The collection starts...

The next morning (3 weeks in still, I think/hope) Nick and I woke up and watched a rom com in bed. It was lovely. We cuddled and talked about baby things. I got out a baby name book that I had browsed before and read out a list I had jotted. We laughed at some of the names and wrote down some potential names. We have always liked 2 girls’ names in particular from the start of our relationship, they are still a possibility. These will remain secret for now. We always said we would have boys though, I have three brothers, he has 3 brothers and one of his bothers has 3 boys! We didn’t get out of bed until midday. We will enjoy those mornings for as long as possible.

As we cuddled I said how hard I was finding it keeping such big news to myself. I said that two of our friends who have donated so much baby stuff are coming round for dinner in 2 weeks. I asked shyly if we could tell them. Nick said “ok, but they must not share it with others”. I squeezed him and said thank you! I have something to look forward to that doesn’t seem forever away!

I went round my dad’s house this afternoon. He remarried a few years ago and has 2 children- a little girl who is 3 and a little boy who is 6 months. I asked a few questions and held the baby a few times. Dad’s wife Hazel asked if I wanted more of her old baby stuff, she said “I know you don’t want to jinx it but they are good quality.” To cover my tracks I said “are you sure you don’t know anyone else who may want them?” and she explained that her cousin is due in October but she is offering the stuff to me first, I took them gladly. I went home with a baby bath, boys and girls clothes and maternity clothes!

family events...

Last night was exciting but tricky. I’ve had to deceive all of my closest friends and family. We all had a curry to celebrate my youngest brother’s graduation. I spoke to Nick before we left about a game plan if people spot that I’m not drinking. It didn’t really work. I was supposed to just say I’m driving and change the conversation. A few minutes into the meal a friend said “why aren’t you drinking Hannah?” with a smile on her face. I smiled back and said “haha, I wish Sarah, afraid not though, driving tonight that’s all.” I thought I had handled it well but she then asked again “no babies then?” I said “no not yet” and gave her a wink. Hopefully that rested her mind.

Then free wine was being passed around and it got to me. I poured myself half a glass and made Sarah aware of it “look Sarah, I’m having a drink” she laughed and Nick chipped in “you’ve driven her to drink Sarah”, a couple of chuckles later and the topic had changed. Phew.

Then I was given crab and normally would have devoured it but had to give it to someone next to me as I wasn’t sure on the rules of fish and shellfish! Although surrounded by friends we couldn’t help discuss things like my mum’s hen do and wedding that are coming up. I went round my best friend Emily’s house to see her kittens. I had recently read that kitten poo contains something that causes toxoplasmosis which can harm a foetus. So I had to be careful and wash my hands a lot. No one noticed.

I was alone with Emma at one point and I started to think ‘maybe I will tell her I think I’m pregnant, or I might be late and was thinking of taking a test’ but I held back. We share everything but this was something Nick and I should share together.

desperate to tell...

Blog 2

     The first few days have been fun but unsatisfying; I’m desperate to tell everyone I know but Nick is right to stop me. One of our friends recently told everyone she was 2 months pregnant and then lost it- that must’ve been horrible. 

     It’s very unlucky that the weekend we found out is a weekend full of family visits- I can’t wait to share the news. I’ve being doing loads of research on what to do next, what I can eat, what I can do and even how my cat will react! Nick heard a story that cats can suffocate babies by sitting on them. I keep reassuring that Smokey our cat would never do this, but to check I have done some research. 

    I know already I’m going to have to change some lifestyle habits. I rarely exercise and I have read that this will help with aches and pains. I also rarely drink more than a glass of water a day. This will need to change. Apart from soft cheeses, raw meat/eggs and the other obvious items such as alcohol I don’t need to change much else. I’ve read the first few weeks are quiet and nothing much happens, the doctor doesn’t even confirm the pregnancy. I’m almost looking forward to morning sickness as it will be a true sign and certainty of this pregnancy. It can start as early as 4 weeks. I think I’m 3 weeks…

2 lines!!

blog 1

After being married for 6 months and after plenty of discussion about when we want children, what month we want our child to be born and what names we like already we decided to start while we were in Las Vegas. I had been off the pill for 6 months and Nick and I thought a September baby would be perfect. Being a teacher I would have the last 6 weeks at home making last minute arrangements. We also thought our child would have an edge as he/she would be the eldest in the class. We were so naïve to think we could choose.

It was new years day 2011 when we decided no protection, let’s do it. It felt amazing to take such a big step in our lives. I remember feeling worried that our baby wouldn’t have a great start because I had been SO drunk the night before and it must be still in my system! 

After a month I got my period. I was very disappointed. I remembered how relieved I used to feel when I thought we hadn’t been very careful in the past, now I had a new rush of feelings, this time worse. Nick wasn’t too bothered, he had a more realistic head on. Instantly I started to look up conceiving tips on websites. The next few months only made me more impatient, still only one line on a pregnancy test, never two. I couldn’t wait for my period so I would take tests that could tell you two days before your period. Never the less, my period soon followed. 

Four months into trying Nick started to show a reaction when I said I started my period “that’s a shame” he would say sadly. I then began asking friends. They told me all of the things I knew they would say

“relax, it will happen when it happens”, 

“try putting your legs in the air straight afterwards”, 

“it’s rare for couple to fall pregnant before the first 6 months”,

“do it as often as possible but don’t make it stressful”, 

“once it happens, it is forever so enjoy your time when it is just you two.” 

I had read all of this online before, along with keep a healthy diet and stay off caffeine which we both started to do. I then sheepishly asked my mum one day how long it took her to get pregnant. She said two months, not what I wanted to hear. The funniest and most disgusting one was to put a tampon in afterwards and keep ‘it’ all in, I decided not to do that again, yuk! 

Despite the advice and my dad’s hints that he wanted us to wait a few years I knew my next step, go to the doctor and ask for advice on an ovulation test or fertility pills. Although that might seem drastic, I was worried that being on the pill for 10 years may have done some damage. I was due my period in a few days so decided to wait until that disappointing day when it comes. It seemed everyone around me was giving birth or getting pregnant, facebook was full of happy mum’s to be. 

I decided to take a test a couple of days early, hopeful but ready. Early on Friday 1^st July 2011 I woke to see Nick getting dressed and I knew I only had a few minutes before he would leave the house. I got up and quickly ripped open a pregnancy test. I put it down after peeing every where and took a quick glance. One line “shit” I whispered. I threw the box in the bin and went back to the bathroom. I glanced again while the test lay rest on the shelf. I looked away and then quickly looked back. I picked it up to get a closer look. “2 lines! There is another line!” I stood in front of Nick and said "Nick, I’ve got something to tell you, I’m pregnant!" Nick looked wide eyed at me “what?” he said. I went and got the test, “look, 2 lines”. He looked at the box and the test. “You’re pregnant?” he said smiling. “We are having a baby” I said as we hugged. 

We both watched the line get darker and agreed not to tell anyone and I would take another test tomorrow. We both went to work with spinning heads. I am really close a lady at work and couldn’t keep such exciting news to myself, especially when the whole school knew I was keen and probably trying. I caught her in the toilets and whispered “I’m late, I’m going to take a test soon”. She whispered a squeal and I put my finger to my lips “keep it hush” I said beaming!